Catholicism: Now with 25% less guilt!

Yesterday Kristin and I had to sit through 3 hours of pre-marriage training. Although not nearly as bad as I expected, it was still jam packed full of bullshit. The first hour or so involved a guy with a hell of a tan talking about the sacraments and why you're a disrespectful asshole for wanting to get married somewhere other than in a church. He also got into a little bit about respecting each other, which certainly is good information for those who are too stupid to marry somebody who isn't already respectful. Next we had the pleasure of having a couple who were married for 55 years give us some insight. It was cute and heartwarming to see their happiness and love for each other, but a lot of that heartwarming emotion turned to boredom as she rambled on and on about her kids. As much as I appreciate their advice, the fact that only 2 of their 5 kids are happily married makes me wonder...

The last hour was by far my favorite. It's in this hour where we got to hear a registered nurse tell us all about "natural family planning" (NFP for the hip youngsters out there) which should be renamed "have unprotected sex and pray to god that you don't knock her up". In this gripping tale of fantasy and love from above, we learned all about how to identify the point in a woman's cycle based on the condition of her, um, motor oil. I shit you not. Between the terminology and the pictures in the handly little pamphlet, I was about ready to hang myself from the cross. The fact that the Catholic church actually expects people to follow this bullshit reinforces my opinion that this entire religion is a crock of shit. What reason could the church possibly have for being against contraception, yet they aren't against this NFP method. Now, no matter how you look at the churches stand on contraception, you have to appreciate the bullshit here. If you believe what the church says about contraception interfering with God's will, then you have to dismiss all medicine, and subsribe to the belief that God will let you roam the earth for as long as he deems necessary. After all... if contraception interferes with his will to bring people into this world, then all modern medicine certainly interferes with his will to take them out. Secondly, how does using the NFP method in any way not interfere with God's will, unless of course it's because it simply doesn't work! If that's the case, then the church is flat out lieing to you, and promoting irresponsible behavior that can result in unwanted pregnancy. Either way, it spells the same word: Bullshit.