6 Empty Stalls

There are 7 stalls in the men's room near my cube. Due to the rarest of all finds - the seat up on one stall, indicating it's unused since being cleaned - I take the 2nd stall from the right instead of the one all the way to the right that I usually occupy. I'm enjoying my personal time, when somebody else comes in. He's got 6 empty stalls to choose from, with the ability to get as many as 5 stalls away from me. So what one does he choose? The one directly to my left. 6 fucking stalls and you need to sit in the one right next to me!? Are you lonely?

While I'm on the subject of inexcusable bathroom etiquitte, I'd like to remind all men reading this that when standing at the urinal, the same rules apply. It is imperative that you provide the maximum buffer zone between you and other pee-ers. If you cozy up to the urinal next to me, I just may feel the urge to mark my territory. And don't talk to me. What is it with guys that feel the urge to talk to me while we're pissing? I'm touching my junk. This is a private moment, not happy hour.