Today has been a very interesting and uncomfortable day so far. One of the guys that sits a couple cubes away from me is moving, and new guy is moving in. The new guy's name gives the indication that he's Vietnamese, or similar. The guy who sits across from me (who is a very nice guy) made a very strange (and I thought very rude at the time) comment this morning something to the effect that if he shot this guy it wouldn't be the first vietnamese he shot. I gave my usual smile then walked away. All morning, the guy has been obcessing about it, making non stop comments abot gooks and the like. This guy sounds just like my grandfather talking about the Japenese.
the way the guy has carried on has been a little wierd. Then he started talking about how he hopes it doesn't cause any flashbacks. He was laughing when he said it, but he had this unnerving look of true uneasyness in his eyes. He mentioned some of the flashbacks he's had in the past. He had one at BCC when he saw a ladder sticking out of a manhole. He had another when he went hunting and heard gunshots. Every time he was smiling and making light of it, but the look in this guy's eyes told an entirely different story.
He truely is dreading having a vietnamese guy sit next to him. I think it has nothing to do with racism or his dislike for them. I think it's fright. He's afraid of his thoughts, and he's afraid of what could occur if they return. I think he's covering his fears by making the off color jokes. I'm really nervous to see what happens on Monday when the new guy gets here.
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